Creativeness

I love what people can do.  I saw this on Facebook today and I spent so much time watching it over and over and over again.  I love Beardyman - I think what he does is just hilarious, but this really is something else.

Enjoy!

I Hate Goodbyes!

Aren't they just awful!

They are possibly the worst thing ever.  Why was that word even invented?  Why couldn’t people just not say anything at all and then we wouldn’t have to get upset about not seeing someone.  There wouldn’t be anything to say to them, so we could just turn around and walk off.  Although, I suppose then we’d say couldn’t we have a word to say “goodbye”.  Hmm

Today, I left my Dad.  I hate saying goodbye to him.  Everytime I am supposed to go to his, I dread it because I always feel I need to impress him.  Yet, when I’m there, I always have such a wonderful  time.  

This time, Elspeth and her family were there.  When I was little, I was terrified of my “step-aunt” but yesterday when she arrived, I realised she was no where near as terrifying as I thought she was. 

At one stage, I never used to find saying goodbye to my Dad at all difficult.  I went through a stage where I really hated going to his house and it was always a joy to leave it, but now I’m older, I think I appreciate things a lot more and appreciate being able to jet off for a skiing holiday and visit him.   A lot of people envy me because he lives abroad, but I would honestly love nothing more than for him to be in England.  At least then I could see him when I wanted to and could see him more than twice a year!

I have been in tears all morning dreading the point where I have to say that awful word and watch him waving from the platform.  There’s always one image that’s stuck in my head, like the other day when he looked at me and said “I think I might have a hamburger.  I haven’t had one in years!”.  They’re often really silly things like that, but I’m not used to seeing them.  It’s so wonderful to see his face light up with an enormous smile on it when he thinks of something good.  That’s what I’m always left thinking when I leave him.  It never helps when I miss him, because suddenly that gorgeous little lit up face pops up in my mind which seems to make everything so much worse.

Already,  I want to go back, but I need to find a date.  With University semester dates, coursework and deadlines, it makes coming out so much more difficult, which is why I only end up seeing him once and, sometimes if I’m lucky!?, twice a year. 

I miss him so much, but I must remember that he chooses (ish) to be out there and even if he did come back into England, he wouldn’t be able to live here for more than 90 days.

Isn’t it stupid how people being nice to you can often make you so much more upset.  You would have thought that people being nice to you would make everything better, but to cheer me up, people are sending me texts and giving me hugs.  Part of me is extremely grateful to them, but the other half of me just wants them to leave me along.  I just want to get home and get back into the normal routine of things.  Obviously I’d love to come back out, but when I get home, I’ll have to have a look at my dates and try and work something out.

I love my Dad, I really do.  I just hope he knows that and realises just how much I miss him. 

The rock I managed to fall off, whilst skiing today!

I love productive days!

So, what I have I done today?
A couple of days ago (I think it was the first or second of January) I mentioned that my mum had a go at me for not being as adventurous as I used to be, not getting off my bum and all that jazz.

The last couple of days, I've really been trying to pull all the stops out. I've written my CV so I can apply to places and I've started looking at potentials, already.

I found a perfect job at the BBC, which is following the early morning breakfast show on radio 1 (how perfect!!) I've spent so long trying to apply, answering the questions as best as I can and now I've finally sent off the form. When I sent it off, I was so excited. First step done.
I've found a presenting job for science workshops for children, so i'm trying to work my CV to fit in with that.
I've written back to my old school to see if they could possibly take me for a couple of days work experience and if I could take any classes within that.

As much as I hate to admit it, i'm quite glad she gave me a kick up the bum. I've been finding the last couple of days really exciting. The only thing I haven't done, is get on with my research project! Oops!
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Happy Days

So, last night, I had my dinner cooked for me! The boyfriend came in and was hungry. As a joke, I said to him 'well go and cook dinner then'.
He looked at me, but eventually got up and went into the kitchen. He cooked me the most gorgeous stirfry. That was his first attempt at a stirfry and his second attempt at cooking for me in two and a half years!

Hmmm, well I was chuffed with that. I thought it was really sweet and thoughtful.

Bless him!
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Rainy days.

Rainy days are never very inspiring are they!

I've finally booked my skiing trip to see my Dad, but instead of feeling excited about it, i'm feeling the exact opposite. I'm absolutely dreading going out to see him and I found out, shortly after agreeing dates, that my Step-mother and her family were also going to be there. (The two things I really can't stand!).

Unfortunately, when I am stressed, or worried about something, I feel sick. This means I don't eat anything and people worry about me which makes me more stressed. Last time I was at their house, I was fed fish (which I'm allergic to) and had the Flu (first time I've ever had it).

I'm already terrified about going, so I've already started feeling sick. I'm so scared the same is going to happen as last time and i'm scared they think i'm going to have an eating disorder.

Today, it's raining. It puts such a horrible blanket over the world. It makes everyone feel totally sad and depressed. This definitely isn't helping me.

I wish I could find a way of being able to ignore things. Like when Joe and I have an argument, the same thing happens. I don't know what to do, but I just wish, that somewhere there is going to be a little tummy God who sorts it out for me.

*fingers crossed*
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The mess caused by my found sounds piece.

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Found Sounds.

Ok, so one of my pieces of coursework for uni was creating a found sounds piece. This is where we have to wonder around the house to find things to bash and play in the attempt to create a piece of music.
Although we didn't have to write a blog, I thought I would record it on here because it would be worth remembering in the future.

I found things like glasses, bowls and pans made brilliant sounds. When they were hit, they had a very reverberant sound which could easily be manipulated and edited.

I tied several elastic bands around chairs and pinged them. This created the perfect 'bass' sound. Actually, i'm most proud of this one!

I recorded all the sounds I had and put them into Logic. I right clicked and 'concert to new sampler track'. This then puts them into ESX24. It made it so much easier to work with. Before, I had been dragging everything by hand which is so much more hard work.

So then I listened to Diego Stocco, who I think is incredible! He makes the most amazing music out of the strangest things. I'd never think about using a bonsai tree to create music.

For some reason, I can't upload the photo because my phone is being silly, but when I get the chance, I will upload it through my laptop.

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It's only the third of January and there's already too much happening.

So last night, I ended up having one of those awful 'life talks' from my mum. Not only was I told I had no friends, I was also told I had a shit CV. I was also told that I've lost my sense of humour, have no personality and need to lighten up.

So this made me think (as much as I hate to admit it) but maybe I should re think my new years resolutions (or maybe even add these on)

1) Apply to Surrey Arts to become a teacher
2) Apply to the BBC for some work experience
3) Find some more work experience which would help towards teaching and also golf
4) Spend more time with the girls from uni.

I found out yesterday that the group of girls I spent all my time with at school, have pretty much dropped me. I'm now no longer invited to anything. They all had a gathering at New Years Eve, but I was the only one who wasn't invited. I know it's pointless having people in your life who obviously don't care about you, infact aren't even in your life, but it's made me more determined to make more friends at uni. The only thing I find difficult is how we have so much work to do. If I have a free minute in the day, I go home and work on my coursework. Maybe that should be a new years resolution too:

Try and get the work to play ratio more balanced.

This, for me, if a tricky one, but also very much needed.
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Posting via mobile!

Ok, so this is exciting! I've just realised you can do such a thing, so now i'm having fun and trying to think of something I can write in here.

I think i'll take a picture now, just to prove how clever this whole thing is. Haha.


Anyway, i'll write something half decent later, but until then... Bye bye!

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The end of a decade!

Wow, so last year seems to have flown past so incredibly quickly!  Where did it go?

As always, people start the year making a whole load of resolutions.  I've never been someone who does that sort of thing, but I think, this year, I'm going to give it a try.  

I haven't thought a huge amount about it, but a couple of things came to mind:

1)  Spend more time working and less time on Facebook

2) Put some money away each week to save up for a big holiday

3) Try and be less touchy and more patient.

I know they may sound a little random, but for me, I think they're quite good ones.  I spend so much time on Facebook, it's ridiculous.  If I was doing a degree in it, I would get a first without a doubt!  I wish I didn't.  I've even done things like getting people to change the password on my account so I couldn't log in, but when they do that, I realise just how much people actually use Facebook now.  Even University uses it to notify us of any new information.   I realised I couldn't do this, so I had to log back onto it, but now, of course, I'm spending far too long on it and not enough time working.

Putting money away.... I've always loved my holidays, but this year, I don't think will be such a great year for them.  My boyfriend and I are putting some money away so we can go on a big trip in 2012 (gosh, that's only next year!)  We haven't yet decided where we'd like to go, but I think both of us would like to go long distance, to somewhere like Thailand or America (Las Vegas and New York).  I've already been to New York, but Joe has never been.  I have never been to Las Vegas, but this is by far, Joe's best holiday.  Our plan is for him to show me around the party capital and for me to show him around the big apple.  

As much as I would love to go to America, part of me wants to go somewhere different.  I've been to America a couple of times now, so I'd like to see somewhere different.  This is where Thailand pops up. I've always wanted to go to Australia but so many people from my school went there for their gap year.  This put me off slightly because it made me think it was "an England moved abroad".  One of my friends went to Thailand and came back with the most incredible pictures and stories.  Thailand is also a place that has been on my list for a while, but never very high up.  Anyway, now I would love to go, so I'm saving up big time to have an incredible trip and fulfil my travelling ambitions.

3)  I must admit, this is going to be hard for me.  I used to be incredibly laid back and patient, but now as soon as I'm stressed, I seem to take it out on Joe.  Obviously I feel absolutely terrible and towards the end of the last term of uni, we had so many arguments.  At one point, I thought we were going to split up, so it really made me realise how much I need him (ugh, how cheesy and cliched... unfortunately, though, it's true!). We made a promise that we weren't going to argue until, at least, after Christmas.  This went really well and we had no arguments at all, which was awesome.  This makes me think that if we really tried, then we could actually have no arguments.  I thought maybe I could start using this blog more and I could write stuff down on here.  I don't know if that would work, but it's better than constantly having arguments isn't it!